Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
