just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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