I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
