Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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