I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
