u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
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just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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