I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
