Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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