i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
