I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
