who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Can I color on your dick again?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
