Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
