I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
