a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
