They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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