New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
