You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
