I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
