Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
