if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
