Your dad touched me again.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
