the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
