at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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