it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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