My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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