i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
