oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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