Who wears a wallet chain?!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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