lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
