Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize