no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Randomize
