He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
