Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
