butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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