I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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