worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
