She's JV to your varsity
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
