Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
