why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize