don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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