Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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