I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
