i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
