hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize