I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So apparently I’m into choking now
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