Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
