Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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