I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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