oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize