Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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