Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
