I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He passed out mid-signature
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
