yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
