Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY