Texts From Last Night

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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels

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  (225): i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels http://tfl.nu/zg26
  Replies (58) Good night (729) Bad night (8104) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.

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  (405): So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day. http://tfl.nu/zflp
  Replies (21) Good night (4679) Bad night (487) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.

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  (256): Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade. http://tfl.nu/llb7
  Replies (25) Good night (20315) Bad night (943) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista

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  (312): I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista http://tfl.nu/d26q
  Replies (27) Good night (4343) Bad night (1189) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.

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  (847): Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins. http://tfl.nu/vi8m
  Replies (5) Good night (4210) Bad night (1013) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up

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  (757): She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up http://tfl.nu/s64r
  Replies (4) Good night (1249) Bad night (2087) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.

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  (573): They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt. http://tfl.nu/azqc
  Replies (5) Good night (3337) Bad night (589) Order T-Shirt
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today

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  (618): I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today http://tfl.nu/z5b2
  Replies (4) Good night (2039) Bad night (1068) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...

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  (513): So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face... http://tfl.nu/mkbe
  Replies (3) Good night (1426) Bad night (727)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.

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  (+61): We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia. http://tfl.nu/ry0s
  Replies (2) Good night (2078) Bad night (496)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.

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  (270): I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms. http://tfl.nu/29v1
  Replies (18) Good night (893) Bad night (2429) Order T-Shirt
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.

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  (601): Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers. http://tfl.nu/38v9
  Replies (9) Good night (1500) Bad night (390) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to

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  (662): Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to http://tfl.nu/r6si
  Replies (2) Good night (500) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!

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  (832): DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!! http://tfl.nu/pv1p
  Replies (1) Good night (173) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?

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  (757): Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures? http://tfl.nu/69o8
  Replies (10) Good night (195) Bad night (883) Order T-Shirt

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