Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.