You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
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