that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
