I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
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remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
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And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.