I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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