only if we run a train.
done.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
