The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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