is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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