I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
