but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
nutella sex= disaster
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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