woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize