I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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