why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
