We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
